Huh
Because my life is vacuous, meaningless, and just plain stifling at present, I came to the library, as we starving pseudo-artist types tend to do, to check my email. I also checked various news headlines and was not surprised to see that Gywneth Paltrow, she so fair of skin and Oscar and yet oddly nasal of voice, has given birth to Baby Moses. Of course! First we had De Apple, now we have De Moses! Which prompted me to think that the real Moses, long dead though he may be (his flowing grey hair now gone, his remains now crumbled into mere grains of sand), is pissed. I mean, real pissed.
MOSES????
OK, I got that out of my system. I guess celebrities are so in love with their own celebrity that real names, like Karen and Ben and Victoria and Tracy and even Stuart, just won't do. They have to be different. Radically WEIRDLY different. Moses? Jesus Christ in a handbag. How the child will suffer. He and the his younger sister will one day grow up to realize that their parents just plain suck, people. All the money in the world won't soothe their distress until they turn 18 and run off to court to get a real name. Apple and Moses, time for dinner! Apple, did you pick up some oranges from the supermarket again? No, just the apples? OK! Moses, stop reading that damned Bible! Stop whittling those damned walking sticks! Stop watching those f------ Charlton Heston movies!
Alright, you get the picture.
In happier news my Future Husband (I am doing the James Frey Strange Capitalization Thing) Craig Ferguson has a book out today. I am still trying to retrieve my book, which is causing me a lot of psychic distress. But, I am happy, although insanely jealous, that his book is now out in the world. I have already put a hold on it at the local library, where the librarians are cheerful, the books are plentiful, and the buffalo roam! This is what lack of food will do to you when you start picturing buffalo roaming through the library. Hey, you never know. It may come to that if we don't Save The Planet, JAMES FREY!
I just wanted to say that. I have actually been reading his Is It Fiction, Or Is It Real book A Million Little Pieces. It's pretty good, although somewhat repetitive. He's a decent writer, no doubt. I still wish I had seen that Oprah episode where she ripped him a new one on national television. What a horrible pack of Romans we are, throwing our writers to the lions. And wanting to see the horrible results. Frankly a part of me feels really sorry for the guy, although I do not condone lying. Relativistic age or not, I think that the truth should be told and preserved at all costs. Unless you're offered a major bribe! No, just kidding! Anyway, it would have been interesting TV, no doubt.
There is no more to say. Weather in New England Good, Landladies Oddly Quiet. Book Still Gone, Money All Gone, Trying To Leave This Hell State For A Better One.
Moses, can you hear me?
May your days be as lovely as you are.
MOSES????
OK, I got that out of my system. I guess celebrities are so in love with their own celebrity that real names, like Karen and Ben and Victoria and Tracy and even Stuart, just won't do. They have to be different. Radically WEIRDLY different. Moses? Jesus Christ in a handbag. How the child will suffer. He and the his younger sister will one day grow up to realize that their parents just plain suck, people. All the money in the world won't soothe their distress until they turn 18 and run off to court to get a real name. Apple and Moses, time for dinner! Apple, did you pick up some oranges from the supermarket again? No, just the apples? OK! Moses, stop reading that damned Bible! Stop whittling those damned walking sticks! Stop watching those f------ Charlton Heston movies!
Alright, you get the picture.
In happier news my Future Husband (I am doing the James Frey Strange Capitalization Thing) Craig Ferguson has a book out today. I am still trying to retrieve my book, which is causing me a lot of psychic distress. But, I am happy, although insanely jealous, that his book is now out in the world. I have already put a hold on it at the local library, where the librarians are cheerful, the books are plentiful, and the buffalo roam! This is what lack of food will do to you when you start picturing buffalo roaming through the library. Hey, you never know. It may come to that if we don't Save The Planet, JAMES FREY!
I just wanted to say that. I have actually been reading his Is It Fiction, Or Is It Real book A Million Little Pieces. It's pretty good, although somewhat repetitive. He's a decent writer, no doubt. I still wish I had seen that Oprah episode where she ripped him a new one on national television. What a horrible pack of Romans we are, throwing our writers to the lions. And wanting to see the horrible results. Frankly a part of me feels really sorry for the guy, although I do not condone lying. Relativistic age or not, I think that the truth should be told and preserved at all costs. Unless you're offered a major bribe! No, just kidding! Anyway, it would have been interesting TV, no doubt.
There is no more to say. Weather in New England Good, Landladies Oddly Quiet. Book Still Gone, Money All Gone, Trying To Leave This Hell State For A Better One.
Moses, can you hear me?
May your days be as lovely as you are.
posted by lakeofthelongsun72 at 10:48 AM
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